Friday, July 25, 2014

7 reasons there is no blog post here

Sometimes a blogger gets a little blue. External impediments, lack of confidence, and weariness all stand in the bloggers way and nothing seems worth writing. But no matter the trials of life, blogging, imagination, and psychology, the blog must go on.

Why must the blog go on?

Ah, now there's a blog post for you!

If only I felt like writing it. 

Maybe tomorrow. Today we are writing the seven reasons why I can't write a blog post today!

Yes, I know this may be disappointing for you. I can only hope that this explanatory list could somehow stand in lieu of a blog post. But no, I don't know how it could.

                            Seven Reasons I Cannot Write a Blog Post Today

1. I do not have enough hubris. I think I left it as a bookmark in the Terry Pratchett book I am reading at home.

2. My left pinkie feels a bit crampy when I type. Well, more like it might cramp if I exposed it to vigorous typing.

3. Everyone is mysteriously behaving themselves at the library today.

4. Evil portents. Two nights ago I dreamed I saw a two-headed moose. Today, walking to work, the lavender flowers were all closed up and unscented. Kafka, the library cat hissed at me. I hear someone moaning and dragging chains in the ceiling ducts above me. Great big vultures sit on every light post of our parking lot, peering into the library windows. I keep seeing blood on my hands out of the corner of my eye.

5.I have too much to say and only silence can carry the weight of such fecundity.

6. The time is not yet ripe to reveal my nefarious plans.

7. I could write something, but you deserve more than something.

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If you were wondering, yes, you should comment. Not only does it remind me that I must write in intelligible English because someone is actually reading what I write, but it is also a pleasure for me since I am interested in anything you have to say.

I respond to pretty much every comment. It's like a free personalized blog post!

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