Sunday, December 28, 2014

A question for the ages



We needed a couple of ceiling lights in our pursuit of household perfection, or at least in our pursuit of our house not being a decrepit ruin. Either way I suppose we're getting there. And part of getting there involved going to a lighting store. The lighting store is called Creative Lighting. It's big, and it has a lot of lights. There are hundreds of chandeliers hanging from the ceiling, and floor lamps and table lamps are scattered liberally across the large store. There are big wall displays of anything from the mundane to the elaborate in porch lights, and there are ceiling lights as far as the eye can see. I'm just saying that it's a big place with a huge number of lighting fixtures, thousands of lighting fixtures.

And nearly all of them are on.

So my question is this:

Why was I not blinded? It was no brighter in there with over a thousand lamps of all kinds and strengths turned on than it is in my living room with one light on.

It was like if I one day woke up to find that there were suddenly a hundred suns in the sky, full, blinding, yellow suns, instead of one, but all with it being no warmer or more sunny than on any normal, pleasant day from all of history.

It's just mysterious, is all I'm saying, and I think someone is up to something and that the end of the world my be approaching. Though none of that stopped us from buying the lighting fixtures we needed. And good thing too. I suspect that in a few years even a hundred ceiling lights in our small bathroom will be insufficient to allow us to find our way to the toilet in the middle of the night.




 






4 comments:

  1. That strikes me as a lot of lightbulbs to change in that store.

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    Replies
    1. I think it must be like painting the Golden Gate Bridge, just as you finish it's time to start again- OH! Or like library shelving!

      Delete
  2. Wow! Why AREN'T lighting stores brighter than anywhere else? You have really given me something to think about! *ponders*

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    Replies
    1. Lighting stores are located at the exits of interdimensional portals, called wells of darkness, and nefarious creatures of the absolute darkness can invade our world at these "wells", but these evil creatures are averse to light, so rooms of "great light" are constructed to protect the portals. As much as 95% of the light is sucked back into the dark side, and evil creatures are prevented from entering our world and wreaking havoc. The common people would freak if they knew how delicate the fabric of our world is, so lighting stores are the cover we give to these "caps" on wells of darkness.

      Probably best not to tell this to too many people, but I thought you should know.

      Delete

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