Thursday, December 4, 2014

Spoiler Alert

All too often here I am afraid I let the cat out of the bag (Hello! If there is a cat in a bag somewhere of course I'm going to let it out!) without giving the due and proper warning. I am talking about spoiler alerts, as in "The cat, in the end, gets out of the bag." It's just that in the heat of the moment I'm all like "So when Charlie finds the golden ticket..." and you're like "Whaaat?! But that is so statistically unlikely!" and I'm like "Ooops!" and it's not like I mean to ruin Where Did You Go Bernadette by telling you Bernadette is alive in an Antarctic research station working on some architecture, it's not like I mean to ruin the surprise party we are all, oh, er, well, so, you see, I just get carried away.

So as a preventative I thought it might be a good idea to gather as many spoilers as I could think of, here, under the careful banner of spoiler alert as a way to sort of safely clear the air. That is why this post is titled "Spoiler Alert", though I suppose I should have explained all this before I ruined Where Did You Go Bernadette, your surprise party, and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

But I still have a couple more spoilers to go so it's not too late for you to close your eyes before I mention that "Rosebud" was his sled.

So, are your eyes all closed? Good. As an aside did you know that more than 99% of my 200 million daily readers read this blog with their eyes closed?

Living is easier that way.

And today's spoiler is:

No, not everyone dies, only those who die before you.

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