It is hard to stay aloof. The pernicious Internet sends its invasion of the body snatcher tendrils out into anyone who comes near. Everyone comes near. I am near. You are near.
Every day I unpack my lance and go tilting at the Internet. Everyone needs a hobby. But as I try and rid it of its demons, reform it, re-imagine it, it, immensely greater and more powerful than myself, works back on me and I am invaded. I am reformed.
How do I know?
I am on my morning walk. Across the street I see an ambulance. The ambulance is apparently from a consortium of three outer ring suburbs; Apple Valley, Lakeville, and Farmington. Because of that it has three big letters on the side and then, underneath, "Ambulance". So, the side of the ambulance reads thus:
I wish like mad I had a camera or phone or whatever so I could take a picture. I would post it to Instagram, though I only vaguely know what Instagram is, with the caption:
With his alien anatomy, of course he would need his own specialized ambulance!
In my heart of hearts I know this is only mildly amusing. Better and worse jokes come to me every day. But what taunts me is this:
The Internet would love it!
The Internet would love it, and oh how I long to please the Internet!