Thursday, March 12, 2015
In the movie Stuck on You, which is easily one of the best three conjoined twin comedies ever made, there is a point late in the movie (and this is a spoiler alert) where our conjoined twin heroes are finally separated, something they held off doing their whole lives because of the danger of the procedure. The twins are released from the hospital and drive to a convenience store. One of them goes in to buy something and one, Matt Damon in this case, for the first time ever, is left absolutely alone in their convertible. Matt Damon is amazed and enthralled by the freedom, the sheer novelty of solitude, and when some man walks by, Matt wonderingly exclaims "Hey. I'm alone!"
"Great buddy. You're gonna stay that way too." The man replies.
Today, after our usual fierce and bitter winter, an astonishing burst of spring is upon us. It is, as I write, 64 degrees out, which is about 80 degrees warmer than it was last week. Even people like me, who feel real affection towards winter, are astonished at our fortune and our dumbfounding release.
And the only way, for some reason, that I can think to express this grand feeling of wonder is to innocently exclaim:
"Hey. I'm not wearing any long underwear!"