Thursday, May 28, 2015

Race solution

As a general matter of course I do not enter into racial politics here on clerkmanifesto. Perhaps I have felt it is a subject where it is too easy to say something completely foolish.

I like to feel really challenged to say something foolish.

But this morning I had such a good idea. I'm not saying it will solve everything in the deep problems of racism in America. One simple idea by a humble, ever so humble, blogger with a readership of 30 could hardly hope to solve the brutal, incessant, and intractable issues of institutional and casual racism in this country overnight.

Nevertheless this idea should take care of about 98 percent of the problem.

Yes, it is a pretty good idea.

Yes, it's new.

Yes, you are very lucky to be among the first people hearing it for the first time. Just imagine how I felt when I thought of it!

I was reflecting on the problems with policing and race that have been plaguing this county for, er, several hundred years. These problems are seeing an upswing just recently in people paying attention to them because they are being filmed more. 

Ruminating on this my brilliant idea came to me.

My idea is that from now on all law enforcement of any kind in America will have to be black. No more white police officers. Sorry Latinos, Asians, and American Indians. Only African Americans can now become Police Officers, Police Detectives, Police Chiefs, FBI, CIA, and so on.

I know!

This will create a splendid jobs boost to the black community. It looks like there are nearly one million police officers in America. The average Police Officer salary is around $50,000. That's a good middle class job there for a million black men and women. Plus people will stop getting hassled and incarcerated for basically just being black. This is a winning proposition.

"But," You ask "Will black people be good at this job?"

What's with the racist question? Why wouldn't they be? You racist.

"But this is Affirmative Action!" You cry out.

No, seriously, I have like 30 readers total on my blog and there's like a racist shouting stuff right in the middle of my blog post. This is so unfair! And what on earth could possibly be wrong with Affirmative Action? It's action, which is good and normal. One has to take action to do pretty much anything. But this action goes one better: it's affirmative, that is, agreeable, positive. If you're going to take action, which you are, affirmative seems an excellent way to go.

Anyway, let's get on this! Someone go tell the President. Hurry.


  1. Another brilliant post! Why God doesn't make you express this as Law instead of thoughtful notion is beyond me. If I were God I'd take a lightning bolt and cut this text into a giant granite slab. Then I'd strap it to your back and send you down the mountain to the wayward, frolicking people. Of course when you see them mindlessly partying you'll be furious and cast the heavy tablet at their idol, smashing everything into smithereens. So, once again up the mountain 4 U, and another fricken tablet 2 carve 4 me. Gawd, and they wonder why we so cranky!

  2. And, this also means we'd be changing policies on NOT hiring people with criminal records so even those who don't get police officer jobs would be employable. I hope you are prepared for the site benefits of your plan!

    1. Do you mean side benefits? I'm never prepared for the side benefits, but always delighted by them. Or site benefits. Is something good going to happen to this site?

      Anyway, it all looks to be coming up roses.

    2. I thought I meant "side" but now that I think about it, I meant "site" as in the future is rosy for your site!


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