Monday, July 27, 2015

Automatic dissent

As I peruse the Internet what seems, among my reactions, to beat out wonder and interest and covetousness and boredom and frustration and inertia and entertainment and, really, anything else, is outrage.

I am outraged!

I am often so outraged that I consider writing a comment. That's pretty outraged. Then I remember that writing a comment automatically engages one in a discussion with confusing people one doesn't like. Also it's a lot of work to leave a comment. So then I leave my computer and look at flowers and breathe until I am calm or until it is time to do some plumbing or cleaning or something. But if I had a form letter for outraged comment, I could just fill it in quick, post it up, and move on, which would be much quicker, and I wouldn't have to bother the flowers.

Where could I find a form of outraged comment to fill in?

I have no idea.

Internet Comment Blank Form
(applicable to all Internet comments)
Outrage Version

I was completely 

___ Apalled
___ Enfuriated
___ Disgusted
___ Disappointed

by the above issue pertaining to

___ Income inequality.
___ Celebrities.
___ Politics.
___ The arts.
___ Race.

___ Cooking methods.
___ Library policy.
___ Global warming.
___ Religion.

It is time we stopped standing around like

___ Sheep
___ Chumps
___ Good little children
___ Zombies

while these

___ Powerful people
___ Librarians
___ Fat cats
___ So called baristas
___ Nazis. There, I said it, Nazis!
___ Arbiters of worthy culture

run roughshod over our best and most humane impulses. I, for one, plan to

___ Make my voice heard
___ Make them rue the day
___ Personally change my behavior
___ Pointlessly express my rage


___ Writing this comment in the comment section.
___ Contacting my Congressperson.
___ Never buying this product ever again unless it's on sale.
___ Irrationally threatening various random people.

I just hope

___ It's not too late.
___ Homeland Security is not monitoring my computer.
___ All one billion people on the Internet will agree with me exactly.
___ I still have a piece left of that really terrific sharp cheddar in the fridge.

No comments:

Post a Comment

If you were wondering, yes, you should comment. Not only does it remind me that I must write in intelligible English because someone is actually reading what I write, but it is also a pleasure for me since I am interested in anything you have to say.

I respond to pretty much every comment. It's like a free personalized blog post!

One last detail: If you are commenting on a post more than two weeks old I have to go in and approve it. It's sort of a spam protection device. Also, rarely, a comment will go to spam on its own. Give either of those a day or two and your comment will show up on the blog.