Dear Publisher

Dear Book Publisher,


Yes, this is the submission you have been waiting for! 

This is the reason, aye the dream, that led you down the arduous path of book publisher. You were not naive when you pursued a calling of book publisher, but you did dare to hope that at least once every four or five years a manuscript of this quality might make its way across your desk. After all, what point was there to your grand endeavor if such a thing, if a bit of literary magic, didn't or wouldn't or couldn't happen. But as the years went by with less exciting submissions than you hoped, and the exigencies of business and day to day life filled your field of view, your ambitions and expectations naturally modified. Your hopes lessened and your dreams solidified to gradually become something harder.

And then this comes. You hardly knew your dream was still alive and now you find it walking in the world. After all this time you may not even recognize it.

What happens when a dream comes true too late?

Oh dear book publisher, it is never too late for a dream to come true! Be of stout heart. Do not reject what you have waited for just because you forgot why you were waiting, just because you think you have waited too long.

Not that I don't understand. Dreams are wild things, strange and dangerous, and they always exact a price.

What, you ask, is the price of the masterpiece you hold in your hands. What is the cost of publishing the most important collection of short essays written in the last thousand years?

Alas, the vast majority of people don't particularly like them.

But I am telling you it is not for nothing you honed your skills.

It is for this.

I look forward to working with you.



Yours, etc, etc,


F. Calypso