Wednesday, July 22, 2015

Form blog post

As you know, I am a new advocate of the virtues of the form letter. Any time there is something I find myself writing a lot, like letters to friends, angry missives to corporations, or notes of apology, I try to create a form letter to facilitate the process for myself. This morning it suddenly occurred to me that the things I write more than anything else are blog posts. I write blog posts, on average, exactly once every single day. Surely I should have a form letter for blog posts!

Now I'm not saying I want to use my blog post form letter very often. I like writing blog posts, and I like doing it the old fashioned way, fully bespoke. I have a lot to write about and am eager to do it, but that clock is always ticking for a person who writes a blog post every day. Sometimes a deadline is uncomfortably close and having a unique, but easy to fill in form for a blog post could be wonderfully helpful to me.

So I've created this blog post form letter. This one is just a blank. I'm pretty sure that when I use it in the future, when it's all filled in, you won't even be able to tell that it wasn't just a regular, longhand written blog post, one maybe not among my very best, but certainly plenty good enough for the Internet.

Here then is my new blog post form letter:


___ On my walk
___ At work at the library
___ While on the run from zombies

I was

___ Musing on the state of the world,
___ Avoiding work,
___ Feeling pretty mad,

when, to my complete surprise, I had and epiphany. It suddenly occurred to me that

___ God is
___ Library patrons are
___ I am

exactly like 

___ A fountain
___ Bob Dylan
___ Time itself

"How so?" You ask. Well, I think both of them are


Which naturally brings me to my point. Which I would tell you if someone weren't

___ Trying to eat me
___ Needing me to register them for a library card
___ Singing what could, theoretically, be Blowing in the Wind, but it's impossible to tell
___ Visiting Divine Retribution upon me

So instead I will leave you with this thought:


I'm pretty sure that is the most important thing anyone has ever said to you, but I suspect you will find it to be

___ Merely amusing.
___ About par for the course around here.
___ Strangely incomplete.


  1. An exceptional form letter !!

    1. ___ Well, everyone is entitled to their opinion I guess.
      ___ I disagree.
      _X_ Thank you. How kind of you to say.
      ___ We are overwhelmed right now at clerkmanifesto and will get back to you in:
      __________ Less than a day
      __________ In three business day
      __________ Eventually
      ___ Could you please restate your comment. We were unable to understand it.


If you were wondering, yes, you should comment. Not only does it remind me that I must write in intelligible English because someone is actually reading what I write, but it is also a pleasure for me since I am interested in anything you have to say.

I respond to pretty much every comment. It's like a free personalized blog post!

One last detail: If you are commenting on a post more than two weeks old I have to go in and approve it. It's sort of a spam protection device. Also, rarely, a comment will go to spam on its own. Give either of those a day or two and your comment will show up on the blog.