Friday, July 24, 2015

My superhero origin story

I am not certain how it happened, but I am reasonably sure that it started with a particularly potent spray of tiger lily flowers. Perhaps these flowers had been hit by strange lightning, or were planted over a bit of radioactive waste. Maybe they were just tiger lilies that were unusually good at being tiger lilies. Whatever it was, I was enamored of these tiger lilies, all copious bloom, the color of the pale flesh of cantaloupes. Perhaps I stared into their wonders for too long. They started to glow. I could see into their glow.

First my eyes changed. Then the change spread through me. I was still myself, but I was also something more. I was still me, but I was also


Yes, by staring too long at a pale orange tiger lily I had miraculously obtained a very small selection of the powers of a bee! I am Beeman.

No, I don't have a costume, though I'm thinking about it.

I don't have any stripes that I can see.

I tried and do seem able to collect small amounts of pollen, in a limited way, but I don't seem able to do anything in particular with it.

I can't fly, which would have been the pick of the lot, but it was a freak accident, not a smorgasbord.

I can't sting anyone with my butt, which is just as well.

I don't buzz and am no more inclined to busy-ness than I was before.

I am sadly unable to make my own honey, but do seem slightly more fond of it and so just bought two quarts.

So you are probably wondering right about now what bee-like thing I actually can do. What happened that makes me Beeman?

First, let me say, it's better than it sounds.

I can see into the ultra violet spectrum with my naked eyes.

"How," You wonder "Does this allow you to fight crime?"

I don't understand. Why would I fight crime? 

What seeing into the UV spectrum allows me to do is enjoy flowers more than I ever thought was possible. They all glow and radiate with an inner luminosity.

Fight crime? Who would want to fight crime when you can enjoy flowers?


  1. A person rarely resembling an emoticon.July 25, 2015 at 10:51 PM

    The buzz lies within you. You must only practice to realize this.

    Of course you need a striped bee costume to do battle with the organized bee killing criminals at Monsanto.


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