Thursday, August 20, 2015

Comment form

Over the past month or so I have been coming up with one useful fill-in form after another. I even have one where by grabbing the form and checking off a few boxes I can get a brand new blog post written in roughly 20 seconds. For all we know this blog post might be made up of a few checked boxes, though I have to say it feels like this has already been longer than 20 seconds. Doesn't this feel like at least 40 seconds to you?

Anyway, these fill-in forms may have been of casual interest to you, or so I hope, but they surely would be better if they were useful to you. That is why I have come up with a fill-in form that you can use! Today. Right here.

How often have you read clerkmanifesto and thought "I sure would like to leave a comment on this post, but what would I say?" or "What a lot of work!" or "I bet everyone will expect me to be clever." or "I don't spill very will." or "I don't want to sound rude to all those jerks out there." or "Why should I go to the trouble of creating content for clerkmanifesto when none of the profits go in my pocket?" or "He doesn't want to hear that again, again." or  "I could never really express my true feelings." or "It always ends in tears."

Ha! Your days of longing prevarication are over! Simply fill in my pre-prepared comment form and be on your way. It's quick, painless, simple, properly spelled, and designed so that all your feelings can come through in a non-confrontational, easy going, but original, manner. Also, with each comment you fill out we will send you a certified cashier's check for one millions dollars. And if a million dollars holds no appeal, get this: I respond personally to every comment.

I know.

Of course, if you have no interest in leaving a comment (and getting rich!) that is entirely okay by us. This is just here to make it easier (oh so much easier!) if you do want to comment.

Clerkmanifesto Comment Form Blank

Having read your post on

___ libraries
___ animals of Minnesota
___ god
___ your misunderstood genius
___ Bob Dylan
___ I don't see why I have to say. Can't you just see what post this comment is attached to?

I was

___ alarmed 
___ titteringly amused
___ emboldened
___ given a fresh insight, which I immediately squished under the heel of my shoe,

by your

___ glaring disrespect for all that is holy.
___ syntax.
___ harmonica playing.
___ hoity toity, nose-a-mile-high-in-the-air views on Finnegans Wake.
___ misunderstood genius.

In pondering your words later, though, I

___ thought of many entirely unrelated things I'd like to tell you about now.
___ took them for granted.
___ wished I understood what you meant.
                            ___ This is probably your fault.
                            ___ This is probably my fault.
___ decided to adopt them as my own without attribution.
___ longed for a way to leave a comment on your blog without having to put forth so  much effort!

You are

___ a gentleman.
___ my "go to" over morning coffee.
___ like a missing Marx Brother,
                            ___ one of the funny ones.
                            ___ one of the pointless ones.
___very creative. You should do something with it.

And so, in closing, I would like to

___ thank you.
___ curse you.
___ try to leave a comment more amusing than you are and
                             ___ succeed.
                             ___ come out roughly even.
                             ___ appear unhinged and hope you'll give me the benefit of the doubt.
___ say that this fill-in-the-form device you have going on your blog is entertaining, but you don't actually expect anyone to fill these out, do you?
___ alert you once again to the fact that I have not received a single cashiers check for a million dollars, despite my many comments! You will be hearing from my lawyer!

No comments:

Post a Comment

If you were wondering, yes, you should comment. Not only does it remind me that I must write in intelligible English because someone is actually reading what I write, but it is also a pleasure for me since I am interested in anything you have to say.

I respond to pretty much every comment. It's like a free personalized blog post!

One last detail: If you are commenting on a post more than two weeks old I have to go in and approve it. It's sort of a spam protection device. Also, rarely, a comment will go to spam on its own. Give either of those a day or two and your comment will show up on the blog.