Monday, October 12, 2015

A third follow up letter to the editor

Dear Editor,

Thank you for your kind words regarding my submission to you. It means a lot to me that you thought well of my writing and found it amusing, or interesting, or entertaining, despite it not meeting your publications needs. And before I go any further I'd like to acknowledge that your heart is in the right place to take the time to respond, to encourage, and to speak well of what I sent despite the fact that we won't be working together.

Unfortunately there is one small problem.

I have a 32 year history of artistic rejection.

I'm not blaming you in particular. I'm not even going to try and talk you into anything. After all, my history of not being able to talk people into things goes back even farther than my history of artistic rejection. I think it goes back about 45 years. I only try to talk people into things now out of sheer reflex or, more commonly, for the comedy of it.

What I'm trying to tell you is that I wrote this letter to you before you wrote yours. That's how familiar a scenario your letter is to me. I know I'm a bit of a loose cannon. I know I'm not the sort of person people in positions of responsibility and authority take crazy chances on.

I understand. You may even be unusually openhearted, a little wise. And you may read this and think. "Yes, you're an okay writer, I guess, I laughed, but seriously, you have to do things the right way. If you did things the right way maybe I'd give you a chance."

Ah, if only I could. If only I could.

Thank you again for your kind words. You may hear from me again if I can't help it. What a world, eh?


F. Calypso

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