Friday, October 30, 2015

Jimmy Johns

I'd like to introduce you to my new sponsor: Jimmy Johns. No, I personally loathe the sandwich shop, but, sadly, I am always desperate to raise enough cash to afford ever more expensive cheeses. Even with sponsorship I am not likely to anytime soon be able to try a Swedish Moose Cheese that's about $500 a pound, but I am certainly ready for Gorau Glas, a Welsh cows milk blue that goes for at least $40 a pound, or the Italian Bitto, at about $55 a pound. Not that Jimmy Johns would know a tolerable cheddar from a piece of cardboard.

Oops. There I go about Jimmy Johns again. But don't worry, I am violating no terms, they're not really a new sponsor. I'd be as likely to take them on as a sponsor as I would be inclined to turn to my occasional friend Bob Dylan and say "You've got to admit, it was a mistake for you to go electric."  Actually,  I should totally do that. There's something about his "You clown" look that I find endearing.

Every In Service Day my Library serves us box lunches from Jimmy Johns. I try not to make a fuss and instead just quietly go get food elsewhere. But I do make a small fuss. And I think very dark thoughts about my co-workers, who all seem to like these box lunches and don't dump the food contemptuously on the floor crying out "I've never been so insulted in my life!" I also like to spend most of the afternoon fantasizing about having a breakout session on how commercial, mass market meat is raised in America until everyone is sick to their stomach.

But then, a couple days ago, I walked into the break room. We were having a big Friends of the Library book sale and during the sale prep they bring in guys from the County Workhouse to help move stuff, prisoners really. These guys were sitting in the break room, covered in tattoos, pale and muscly and out of jail for a bit. They were having lunch, from Jimmy Johns. And the first thing I heard, as I walked into the room to make my cappuccino, or maybe grab a piece of Bleu d'Auvergne cheese, was one guy saying, with true pleasure and appreciation:

"This is the best food I've had since I've been locked up."

And that's my story about Jimmy Johns.

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