Saturday, December 26, 2015
The many uses of our DVDs
As you most likely know, this address on the Internet mostly concerns itself with weighty issues. Heavy issues. Issues of theological importance and immortal significance. We here are visited by scholars, minions of the gods, and visionaries. The bulk of our audience lies deep in the future, out beyond the end of time, where evolved super advanced jellyfish-like space beings pour over each of my missives and cry out amongst the celestial heavens "Good one!"
But you may be surprised to find that even though I regularly deal with profound, immortal issues of epic significance here, most people, when they ask, request that I write more true library stories that end in puns.
I know. Yes, quite the surprise.
But, um, okay, sure. By weird coincidence I have one of those for you today.
This one is pretty advanced, so you'll have to pay careful attention.
Today one of my colleagues was commended to me. I was not irritated because it is a colleague I like. You might be surprised by how many of those there are. I sometimes am. Apparently this co-worker heard the far away alarm gates sound from where the library exits into the coffee shop. Looking up, my colleague locked steely eyes on a young person frozen in the screaming gates. The young man, wilting under this ferocious glare, and held spellbound, responded to my co-worker's distant summons. Making that long perp walk across the library this person removed from under his shirt one of our valuable rental DVDs. Then he approached the front desk to face the music.
He said that did not know the item was not checked out. And the reason he gave for carrying a not checked out DVD under his shirt?
He was cold.
Ah well, it is hard to argue with the young man's logic; clearly the DVD was hot.