Friday, January 1, 2016
Something I said in idle conversation caused my Catholic co-worker to cry out in surprise and shock "Wait, you're not an Atheist are you?"
I obligingly explained my theology, which I'm pretty sure causes anyone to think I'm kidding and/or evading the question, even though I'm not. But that might be for the best.
Nevertheless I was struck by the vehemence of his question; one that suggested that anything I might believe in, regarding God, would be far more similar to his beliefs than my strictly not believing in any God.
This is alien to me. I consider every other person's theological beliefs to be equally foreign to my own. Whether Catholic, Atheist, Satanist, Taoist, Jewish, Agnostic, Animist, or Muslim, they are all opposite to what I believe. And they all come after what I believe. They are too late.
You see, in musing on my co-worker's reaction I suspected that some deep roots were involved. From the perspective of all my ancient, ancestral Judaism curling around in my blood, Catholicism is one of those newfangled cults, like Mormonism or Professional Football. And what my co-worker might think of as a shared core belief, with a naturally diverging evolution, is to me just people packing on bizarre new stuff. But, of course, I'm not religiously or theologically Jewish. My belief is far older than that. Indeed it's the oldest of all. And so Judaism to me is also a bunch of glommed on made up nonsense too, cultural detritus smeared on and obliterating my primordial truths. All religions are this to me, all theological belief, even the sensible, science-like Atheism. All of it is so terribly new, well after the fact, apocrypha, commentary, pointless extrapolation. This is because my religion is the religion of the rocks. It is of the first beliefs of the gasses in space, and it is made of the prayers of forming stars. My theology was assembled before time in the void of space and has come down to be whispered between 2,000 year old trees, between the earth, infinity, and the memory of our burning core.
Here, close your eyes. Listen.
See, everyone knows my religion.