Monday, February 1, 2016
A matter of perspective
For much of the life of my blog I had seven, or twelve readers, and the terrible paucity of it pained me. I gnashed my teeth. I wondered what I was doing wrong. I wondered what the world was doing wrong. Time and again I would try new things, say new things, seek new readers, but each time I looked I would have seven, or twelve readers.
So I struggled for a long time. I said that I didn't care. I laughed at my anonymity. But I looked, and I had seven or twelve readers. And I knew, deep down, I still cared.
I told people to go away in a strategy of reverse psychology, and I had seven to twelve readers. I made a fuss, and I had seven to twelve readers. I wrote very clever things, and I had seven to twelve readers.
So I suffered.
But I did not want to suffer. I knew that to have all the readers I wanted and needed and deserved I would have to set my desire free. Only in a state free of desire would all that I wanted come to me. So I freed myself of desire. I was enlightened. I was detatched and pure and full of love.
And here I am.
So go ahead and ask me how many readers I have. Just ask away: How many readers do I have now?
I don't know, honestly, probably around nine.
2 comments:
If you were wondering, yes, you should comment. Not only does it remind me that I must write in intelligible English because someone is actually reading what I write, but it is also a pleasure for me since I am interested in anything you have to say.
I respond to pretty much every comment. It's like a free personalized blog post!
One last detail: If you are commenting on a post more than two weeks old I have to go in and approve it. It's sort of a spam protection device. Also, rarely, a comment will go to spam on its own. Give either of those a day or two and your comment will show up on the blog.
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I have a shifting sense of self. Some days I feel quite another person than I did earlier in the week: shadows take on new meaning, I have hope that did not exist only a few days ago. And so on. Cucumbers? I hate cucumbers! But not today.
ReplyDeleteSo, what I'm saying here is as one of your 12 readers, I should count as at least 5 or 7, since it is often a different self reading. That brings your total up closer to 20 readers. And unless the rest of the 12 have only one sense of self, then we're talking, um, hold on...around 75 readers! And 75 rounds up to 100! You have 100 readers!
Aw shucks, GA, that is some thoughtful math. But you know how you really count: you yourself are infinity, and that is the real answer. All the stars in the Universe are whirling through you. So I have known.
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