Wednesday, June 8, 2016
Olympic withdrawl, Zika Virus
American Olympic hopeful Feldenstein Calypso today added his name to the list of athletes not competing in the Rio Olympic Games due to concerns over the Zika Virus.
PERSONAL STATEMENT FOLLOWS:
Though I know it may be a disappointment to many, I must regretfully announce that, due to concerns over the Zika Virus, I will not be competing in this year's Summer Olympics in Brazil.
As excited as I am at the prospect of being crowned "Fastest Man Alive", the risk to my family, friends, community, and nation must outweigh my pursuit of personal glory. I am as committed as ever to my ambitions for international glory and torrents of unreasoning adulation, but not regardless of any cost, nor in a way that could cause harm to others.
Would I have won the Olympic Gold Medal in the 100 Meter Dash? No one could ever say. I have never actually run a 100 Meter Dash so there is no telling how fast I might be. While most athletes who are crowned "Fastest Man Alive" are not yet in their fifties and don't get slightly breathless after a brisk walk, very few of them have my unique attributes either. I am frequently described as "quick" and am uniquely well suited to focusing on tasks that take less than ten seconds. It has also been suggested that I have lost a few pounds recently, which could have only aided me in my pursuit of an Olympic title.
I wish the other sprinters much success in the Olympics and in no way mean to suggest that, without having faced me to reach his goal, the ultimate winner of the Gold Medal in the 100 Meter Dash is not, or will not be, "The Fastest Man Alive" . Though we can never truly know who would have won that thrilling Olympic match up between us, his victory will nevertheless be hard fought and fairly won just as it is, and I freely salute him. I also extend condolences to him, his family, his friends, his community, and his country for the terrible ravages of disease he will be spreading through them as a result of his triumphant pursuit.
To my own disappointed fans I say that knowing that I might truly be the fastest person alive is enough for me, so long as all of you continue to be safe, well, and happy.