Wasting all that precious time

All I want is more time to squander.

But that might not be the whole story.

I'm not sure I'm squandering my time efficiently. I am squandering the time I have to squander. Wait. That might not make sense. I need to streamline and organize the time that I squander so that that time is fully and properly frittered and misspent.

Although, while I think one is supposed to squander the time one has to squander, it nevertheless feels all wrong how I'm doing it. I want to squander my time better.

It's all very confusing.

Perhaps it comes down to a feeling of wastefulness. After squandering several hours my feeling should not be one of wastefulness. I should not feel I have wantonly thrown time away. Rather I should feel a sense of confusion at the passage of time. "Wait, it's Friday?" I should wonder foggily, "What have I been doing for 18 hours?" not "Oh crap, I could have been staring at all those weird black birds in my backyard or watching old soccer games! Instead I just..." 

I just what? What did I do then?

Well, it certainly wasn't "Write a blog post." Writing a blog post is not squandering, wasting, or frittering time in any way. It is white hot productive. It is a miracle of essentialness. It is a feat of daring, perseverance, and fortune.

I should know. I just wrote one. And now I better hurry and start squandering time immediately or my night is just ruined.

I hope it's not too late.