Sunday, November 27, 2016
Customer Satisfaction Survey Results
The accounting firm of Barney, Barney, and Stein has tabulated all of the surveys people have filled out and I am here to read and report the results!
I am so nervous!
1. Almost all of you like or love (8%) the new clerkmanifesto points for prizes system! Although a scant, but defiant 62% of you were uninterested in it, and 29% of you took the opportunity of that question to go on a bathroom break.
2. One percent of you said "Potato Taquitos" was your favorite blog post. Only 97% of respondents said they couldn't remember any blog posts further back than "Customer Satisfaction Survey".
3. In a heartening vote of confidence 100% (everyone!) said that they either love, like, tolerate, endure, occasionally read, or are generally confused by clerkmanifesto.
4. Almost 38% of readers first heard of clerkmanifesto when I mentioned it in this sentence! Roughly 31 percent already knew all about it and felt smug. About 30 percent still haven't heard of clerkmanifesto although it's starting to sound more and more familiar.
5. A full 42% of you blamed being in a bad mood on having to fill out another customer satisfaction survey, but 83% said they would fill out more surveys in a desperate hope that one day they will be asked a relevant question that allows them to express their feelings.
6. A majority of respondents said they would recommend clerkmanifesto to anyone who asked them directly if they would recommend clerkmanifesto, keeping in mind that no one would hold them to anything and they could not be sued or held criminally liable.
7. Just over 98% (!) of you felt confident that Barney, Barney, and Stein was the best survey firm they ever dealt with.
8. A whopping 9% of you are feeling sad that there are only eight result summaries, even though they're only just realizing it now.