Sunday, May 14, 2017

Superpowers my way

I have recently landed in a few discussions regarding superpowers. And I doubt that there are any among you who have not had to contend with the question of what superpower you might like could you choose but one. Invisibility seems a tad loathsome and unwholesome, except perhaps for highly ethical people who would invariably ruin the effect by constantly clearing their throats and announcing "I'm here even though you can't see me." Flying strikes me as quite fun, but difficult to properly monetize. Although fortunately, as a library clerk, I have no real need of money, especially once cars and airplane trips become superfluous and I can collect all the valuable free stuff that collects at the tops of trees. 

Recently I have come to the conclusion that time travel would be the superpower to go with. It would make one pretty much a god, having all knowledge and the ability to redirect fate. But as much as I might like to put the superpower issue to rest by being the first ever "Time Travel Man" I am aware of the exponential paradoxes involved, and, even in fantastical discussion, I fear collecting the memory of so many streams of alternate realities that my brain would split apart.

And so I leave the fancy superpowers then to a younger crowd. Let them lift super heavy objects, or run at the speed of sound. I have grown more humble. For my superpower I shall merely go with good health. I will be "Good Health Man". The older among you will understand even as the young fliers may not. The middle aged and older, enthralled, will ask this super-powered version of me "Wait, you are 52 years old? Your knee never mysteriously hurts you? Nor your back, shoulder, neck, or sciatica nerve? You have no strange cysts for the doctor to check out as soon as possible, and your teeth never ache as you bite down on something a little too hard?"

And amazingly I will say "No. And also I can turn into an owl whenever I like."

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