Thursday, August 17, 2017
How to be the greatest writer in the world
I can take no real credit for this. I was just writing a daily blog, mostly for my own entertainment because blogs are widely reviled and it is unwise to expect anything else, when I stumbled upon the secret. Many have sought this secret and even labored their whole lives for it, waking at four in the morning before work to pursue hours of searching. Me? I was just trying to come up with a two paragraph post for Thursday, hoping it might be mildly amusing, when I saw it.
It wasn't fancy. And not at all like I expected. It was like it was half out of the dirt. At first I was just confused. Then I thought "It can't be." But it was.
There are individual prospectors out in California still mining for gold. Some of them work incredibly hard. Some are no doubt fantastically clever, pulling out every trick in the book in their pursuit of that wily, hidden precious metal. What if I went out for a little walk to see what I could see, and, skirting some poison oak and a little mudslide caused by the rains, I came upon a boulder made of gold?
I'm just saying I got lucky. I found the secret of how to be the greatest writer in the world, valuable yes, incredibly valuable, but as it is due to little merit of my own, how could I not share it with you, who only by chance have not found it yourself.
Of course, you might wonder, if I were to share this secret of how to be the greatest writer in the world with everybody, how could I be the greatest writer in the world?