Friday, December 22, 2017
I have a nice late lunch that I make as my main meal of the day every day, and people ask me "Hey, how can you afford to have lunch every day?"
And I'm like "Hello! I work at a library. Thirty-five K per annum, my friend, 35 K."
It's not like I'm rubbing it in, it's just people shouldn't be so surprised. My wife and I are kind of rolling in the dough.
Take our blue car- our nearly brand new Honda Civic Coupe- sweet ride indeed! Sure we got an unusually economical lease on it, and we share the single car between us, but those are just details. When you see me decamp from that beautiful coupe you might offer a low whistle and a waggle of your hand as if to say "Hoo boy, that is the thing, man!"
"Oh yeah! Too right, mon ami." But that's just the thing I'm trying to explain, so you gotta get down with the program: I work at a library. The finer things in life are at my beck and call.
"Is it true you have an awesome one bedroom, 700 square foot house?" You inquire with skeptical awe.
"We own it, my admiring friend, or we will, once that detail of a mortgage is paid off. Try, just try to take it in, I WORK AT A LIBRARY."
"Whoa!" You exclaim, probably wishing you worked at a library too. Then, with the magnitude of it all dawning on you, you ask, in a hushed voice "Are you so rich you're a Republican?"
"Heh, heh, heh." I reply. "It hasn't gone quite that far. But between you and me" I add conspiratorially "I've met a couple."
"Ohhhh la la." You sigh.
"Ohhhh la la indeed!"