Friday, July 27, 2018
A man came to me at the front desk of the library.
"I just thought you should know," He began. "Someone lit a fire in the Men's Room."
"Really." I said.
"It's out now," He assured me, "But there are scorch marks on the wall, some burnt stuff on the floor, and," He added significantly, "It smells terrible in there!"
"Thank you. I'll check it out."
It wasn't long before I had the chance to inspect our fire damage. He was right. There was a clump of what looked like burned through paper by the urinals, and there were some minor scorch marks down at the base of the wall.
But he was completely wrong about the last thing. I have had cause to venture into that bathroom many times over the years, though almost never to actually go to the bathroom in it. And I can say its smell has ranged from barely tolerable to horrifying. Now it smelled great. It smelled fantastic. It smelled like a campfire in the woods.
As the supply person for my library I buy deodorizing gels or sprays for our two poorly ventilated staff bathrooms. I have never been satisfied with any of them. But now I am thinking, what if I forget all the weird products alleging to smell of lavender and kiwis? What if I save the library a little money?
Why don't I just pop into those bathrooms every morning and simply start a small fire?
You might wonder: what if it sets off the smoke detector?
"Pay no attention to the smoke detectors everyone. I'm just deodorizing the bathrooms.
Who wants a marshmallow?"