A study

An important new study on studies came out today. This study shows that 82% of all news venues will report the results of any study given to them without even reading beyond the first few main points of the study. It also shows that studies are regularly reported in an uncritical fashion, and that people reporting studies rarely fact check, consult peer reviewed commentary, or even examine the conclusions against common sense. The study further goes on to find that more than nine out of ten study reporting venues are run by colorful tea cozies and that the Capitol of France is now located in my kitchen sink. People prefer the taste of wood shavings to that of strawberry ice cream. A nickel is worth way more than a quarter. And nearly everyone agrees that the clever people who come up with and conduct studies should all be paid 20 times more than they currently are. 

The study concludes that 86% percent of reporting venues are vulnerable to being eaten by chipmunks, evil turtles rule the U.S. Senate, and that I have a winning smile and a delightful way with statistics.