Wednesday, May 13, 2020
The pandemic diet
There's a diet for everything. So why not a Pandemic?
I am on the Pandemic diet.
It is going to save my life. It could save yours as well.
I made it up myself. It mostly involves garlic. Lots and lots of garlic.
"Hey!" you cry. "It's a viral pandemic. Not an invasion of vampires!"
Fair point. And well made.
And yet, that's just what the vampires want you to think!
But also, you know who else doesn't like the smell of garlic, besides vampires?
Oh, they like it okay in food and cooking and everything. But they aren't so keen on it when it is excreted through the pores of someone who ate just tons and tons of garlic.
You could be that excreting person!
If they smell you they are too close! And they are not wearing a mask! And they will back away in horror!
Protecting you from their Coronavirus!!!!!
Checkmate vampires! or, er, Covid-19.
So follow my Pandemic Diet: Eat garlic in everything. Eat lots of garlic. Eat it raw, eat it dried, and eat it cooked. Just eat garlic. It could save the life of yourself and of those you love.
Only don't tell too many people about this. If everyone eats garlic no one smells it anymore.
If this happens, try showering less.
Distance is everything.
-made possible by a grant from the Gilroy, California Chamber of Commerce-