I just want to fit in in America. But I'm having a little trouble keeping up. And there were some official changes in the past week, so let me see if I have the new plan straight.
I no longer have to fear and despise black people.
I don't have to resent the Mexicans and Central Americans, working on the fancy houses near my Apartment, for stealing American jobs.
I should stop tsking disapprovingly at the gay and transgender people I work with.
I'm supposed to wear a mask of some kind when I go out in public.
When I see a policeman beating or murdering someone I no longer have to think that policeman is just a bad apple and that the victim probably had it coming anyway.
I am allowed to believe global climate change is real and dangerous.
And, finally, as a Jew, I no longer have to drink the blood of sacrificed Christian children.
Which is such a relief. I hate drinking blood.