Wednesday, May 26, 2021

New Phones


Good news here at the library I work at. We got new phones!

The old phones were weird and complicated, with lots of contextual buttons that only worked, or worked differently, depending upon the situation. They were not really designed for, or suitable for a library, but seemed more like they would work well in a traditional, albeit gigantic, office. 

But these new phones are simple!

At the top half of the phone there is a large display screen. There are five buttons on the left of it. There are five buttons on the right of it. And there are four buttons underneath it. The screen has pictures and symbols next to some of, but not all of those buttons. For instance, the seventh button is next to a red and white number "3" accompanying what might be a left pointing arrow over a pair of racing goggles, or possibly it's a bow tie. If it's a bow tie I'm super interested to try that button. It seems fancy!

Under the screen and button layout is the main phone face, which is all buttons. It is also super simple, like, for cavemen simple. You might not even have to be able to read because there are so many pictures of things; a sun, a cassette tape, an open book, a circling arrow, a red bowtie, a crossed out corndog (maybe this is so you can eat while talking, which would be useful to me). In the top middle of all this, above the numeric keyboard part, there is a big black round rubber ring with a dot for each cardinal direction. I tried pressing the bottom part of this ring and the whole screen changed to say "Add favorites from the self care portal."

That's incredibly nice. I am trying to do more self care. I'll look around for that self care portal later today. Maybe the "3" with the arrow over the bowtie is some kind of portal to self care?

I'm not saying I understand everything about this phone right away, but taken with a spirit of discovery I'm thinking these phones will be a lot of fun. For instance, I just pressed a button under "Self-view".  It said "Self view is not available while shutter is closed". It turns out there is a little camera thing sticking up at the top of the phone. I twisted it a tiny bit and it opened. I hit "Self-view" again. 

There I was on the screen!

I am beautiful.

So I did some self care. 

I think I might have found the self care portal!


  1. That phone sounds like a nightmare. I don't think I've met a piece of technology that I like (and that likes me back) since I retired in 2005.

    1. You may be right and the phone may be a nightmare, but in a world of dark dreams I am willing to try pushing any of its buttons. How bad can it get.

  2. "How bad can it get," you ask. Well, based on my experience with my not-quite-an-Iphone, it can get pretty bad. I don't much like surprises, and I do very much like being able to reliably get back to where I'm sure I was just 10 minutes ago.

    Oddly, when I worked in a very technical setting, managing groups of writers, artists, and programmers, my manager at my annual review always gave me high marks for "handles change well." I guess I left that behind when I retired.


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