And now let's take a quick break in our historical narrative to share a brief, true-life anecdote from my library:
We get our fair share of odd stuff showing up at our moderately large near urban library. Little of it is particularly useful, though occasionally it is... of interest. Yesterday the voluble, and slightly off kilter, and almost but not quite endearing man who runs our vending machines, brought in 30 loaves of bagged bread.
He was incredibly excited about it.
"I brought in bread for everyone!" He exclaimed broadly, like a town crier, to the whole back area of the library. "It's really good bread for free. All the varieties of bread. Wholesome ingredients, all natural. Take a loaf of bread. I GOT FREE BREAD FOR EVERYONE!"
This bread is commercial off brand sandwich bread from a chain supermarket. The two varieties that are "all varieties" seem to be "tan" and "white". And as for "all natural", I'm not entirely sure how wholesome Potassium Iodite is. The best I can figure is it helps the thyroid not absorb radiation. I guess that's a good thing, though its presence suggests something more sinister at work behind the scenes.
Nevertheless, the gesture of free bread does seem generously meant. There's rather a lot of it piled up in the break room right now. It may have multiplied. But I've seen worse free food in there, that's for sure.
The branch manager came through. "You know about the sandwich bread situation?" I asked.
He nodded with a wry expression on his face.
"I'd like permission to order some ducks."