Friday, August 19, 2022

I used to be a Christian!


I used to be a Christian. 

I always really liked Jesus and still believe he's the son of god and everything, but I'm sorry, I just can't!

 Jesus has gotten so political lately! I don't know why he had to go all woke, but I just can't go along with it anymore. 

I first grew suspicious when Jesus said "For those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted" which is so obviously a dig at Trump. Now I'm no radical righty, but "Do not judge or you too will be judged" and so I can't help but now serve judgement! There simply isn't any reason to bring politics into this! 

Can't we just all worship the Lord God without having to have it all be about the Democratic Woke SJW agenda?

So I started digging. Check this out this bit of news about Jesus:

"Then Jesus went about all the cities teaching and preaching the gospel of the Kingdom and healing all the sickness and disease among the people.

First of all, I never heard Jesus was an actual medical Doctor. Second of all, once you start handing out free healthcare the quality goes down and you end up with something like Canada, or France where the doctors don't even wash their hands! And third, maybe this Jesus should stick to being God and not go around spreading propaganda about socialist healthcare and let people pay to get healed by trained doctors!

Of course Jesus is still Jesus, and sometimes I think his perfectly good and godly advice is misinterpreted for the woke agenda. Like, when he says "Love your neighbor as thyself." he's probably not thinking you're going to be living around the wrong sort of people, and if you have the wrong sort of neighbors it'd probably be best if you just moved or encouraged them to move, then go ahead and love thy neighbors at that point.

But that said, Jesus has a tendency still to shoot his mouth off. Saying "It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to go into the kingdom of heaven" is alarmingly unamerican. Everybody is equal here, with one vote per person (supposedly!), but maybe he doesn't know about that where he's living, possibly in Europe. I'm not saying some rich bigwig should get to buy their way into heaven or anything, but I hardly think Jesus meant that a bunch of shiftless folks should get some kind of free pass in either. Either way, I'm guessing Jesus regretted saying this for a while when the donations for his church went way way down. A rich person has a lot more money to do good with than a poor person, that's for sure.

Then, alas, Jesus said this:

"I was hungry, and you gave me meat. I was thirsty, and you gave me drink. I was a stranger, and you took me in. I was naked, and you clothed me. I was sick, and you visited me. I was in jail, and you dropped by. Verily, inasmuch as you have done the least of these to my brethren, you have done it to me."

And I had had enough. I realized Jesus really had gone fully woke! 

Plus, he's kind of a bum!

Sure, he's god, but he thinks we can simply give everything away to everyone and it will all work out which is pretty naïve. 

If this happens, no one will work anymore and there won't be any food to give out cause the farmers will just watch TV all day. And then we'll have no food for anyone and we'll get weak and the Muslims will take over.

So I could no longer be a Christian in good conscience!

I would as soon be a Democrat, or an Atheist!

I believe. Praise Jesus! But I cannot be a Christian!

So I'm looking into being a Catholic, or maybe a Protestant.

I'll let you know how it goes.

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