Second languages

At the beginning of a no doubt long journey to learn the glorious French language, I take heart that I have once before managed, over the years, to learn a second language.

I speak Library Patron.

While Library Patron is not an official language recognized by the U.N., it is a language with its own rules and words. And if, at first glance, Library Patron looks a lot like English, so does French! But no matter what others think of it, the language of Library Patron is as full of as much idiosyncrasy and nuance as any other language on Earth. What other language requires a person to interpret "2289" as "22089"? Or, did you know that in Library Patron the phrase "Can I ask you a question?"  often means "I am lonely."? 

Come to think of it, in Library Patron, a weirdly large number of things translate to "I am lonely."

All of this barely begins to scratch the surface of the complexity involved in the massive language known as Library Patron.

Today someone came to the front desk and asked me and my co-worker if anyone had turned in to our lost and found a blue coffee mug. I went to the back, where the lost and found shelves are, picked out an olive green water bottle, and brought it back to the front desk.

"There it is!" The library patron exclaimed in delight.

"How did you know that green water bottle was a blue coffee mug?" My young colleague asked.

A shrug. Who can really explain?

I speak Library Patron.