World cup preparations

 

Whether I watch a lot of the world cup or not is an open question. The timing of the matches (all very late for me in Europe), the quality of the streaming service I can buy to watch it, and the way it fits into my lifestyle are all open questions I can't answer very well until the games actually begin. But I can say that I have, for reasons I'm not fully clear on, obsessively studied for and know a lot about this World Cup. I don't want to burden you, my kindly readers, with too much information here, but I was thinking I could provide you a kind of idiosyncratic primer to this tournament. Maybe the best way to do this is to present it in five sort of simple topics that will allow you to dazzle strangers with your knowledge and perspective on this greatest of all sporting events.

But before we start, I have decided not to discuss the politics of the World Cup in my list because it is too long and complicated of an issue. So we'll leave that for another day. Just tell me when you're ready to hear about the apocalypse of capitalism and how sports are its last dying argument, nevertheless doomed like us all.

Onto the soccer fun!

1. The group stage is just for you to have a good time.

With 36 of the 48 teams going through to the elimination rounds (first place, second place, and even most of the third place teams will go through) this is not the tense, meaningful, and exciting part of the games. This is the get your feet wet part of the cup. Probably no team that is talked about as an even mildly serious contender is likely to go out after their little mini tournament of three games. This is where you can drop in and see if you're interested at all. Or maybe pick out a team or two, favored or not, and size them up. You can root for miracles or just ignore most of the vast sea of matches. Someone hopeless is probably going through despite what anyone thinks, which will be utterly thrilling for that team and its fans. One or two mediocre teams might go out and by some miracle a good team could too, which will be an emotional spectacle but not the likely or key point of this period. Here everyone is just establishing position and conditioning for the great race to come.

2. The old mens' cup

Seven players who are 40 or older are playing in this cup! The first players ever to play in their sixth world cup are doing so, including Messi and Ronaldo who I need not explain or this basics guide will already be beyond you. Clerkmanifesto reader favorite Axel Witsel of Belgium is 37. Messi will turn 39 during the tournament. Can people this old make a difference in these games? Probably a couple of them can, and even if none are able to, their presence looms so large that such failures will be one of the singular down note stories as the cup progresses.

3. Terrible teams and miracles

With the wider inclusion of 48 teams there are some wild stories about some of the teams that have made it. For instance did you know that Haiti, because their home country is so messed up, have not played a game in Haiti in over four years!! I am personally enchanted with Curacao, a tiny country that's smaller in population and possibly even in physical size than the city I currently live in! There are 156,000 people in Curacao, they have a famous coach and absolutely zero chance. What a thing to root for!

4. Enjoy an extra elimination game!

To make up for a far more neutered group stage, take pleasure in an extra round of do or die football. Yes, the round of 32 match ups will be uneven, but everyone in it will have proved to be capable of winning at least, and here is where we can see something wild happen, and probably will. Plus, good teams' slip ups in the group stage can set this round up for some surprisingly key and competitive games.

5. It was always going to be the favorites, but which ones?

Bizarre miracles and shock eliminations aside, as a student of the pundits, it is almost impossible to find someone willing to predict even a mild dark horse making it to the finals here. The good teams have some freakishly disporportionate talent here. If a team as brilliantly talented as France or Spain wins there will be pleasure in seeing such good football being played. Any of the maybe five beyond them who could seriously win will bring the thrilling frisson of the unexpected, the glorious return, or the long sought historical achievement. In the end the winner always will have seemed inevitable, but enjoy now that no one knows.

Favorites yes, but no one knows! The book is blank and ready, and it is about to be written.