Because the list mood has struck me I thought I would make up a list of a little random collection of patrons here at the library today. It's an almost freakishly beautiful day, so expect indoorsy types. I'm not sure how I will convey collected people to you in a sentence or two, but I do know I can't use their real names. Therefore I am going to give them the names of famous authors. I feel this will provide a multitude of benefits. Such as:
1. It will protect the identity of our innocent patrons.
2. It will immediately illuminate aspects of their personalities in an instantly familiar way.
3. It will humanize the authors used by placing them in a homely
environment and giving them an accessible context to be viewed in.
4. It will provide an air of gravitas to a mundane collection of random sketches.
5. It will allow me to contextualize these personalities, giving me a springboard for conveying them to you!
So, without further ado, we begin.
1. Miguel de Cervantes. Tall, thin, a bit stooped, full of scraggly grey
hairs, he may be more Don Quixote than Cervantes. His energy radiates
off of him in an uncontrolled buzz. He asks questions but cannot stand
still for long enough to receive an answer.
2. Agatha Christie. I help her figure out why she is being sent an email
about a book that is due today that her record says is not due for
three weeks. It turns out it is because she renewed it earlier today.
This is an older Agatha Christie who, alas, may no longer be sharp
enough to pen her tightly plotted mysteries.
3. Flannery O'Connor. Looks just like her. Has sixtiesish cat-eye
glasses and is not amused by my jokes, unless she is secretly amused.
Yes, yes, she is secretly amused by my jokes! Flannery O'Connor thinks I'm witty. This is just exactly how I'd
imagine Flannery O'Connor would be!
4. Philip Roth? What does Philip Roth look like? I better find a
picture. Yes! It's Philip Roth, right here, retired, cruising the
Internet at our library, muttering. His National Book Award winning days are a warm, distant memory.
5. Doris Lessing. She looks at me over the tops of her reading glasses. I
have no idea what the look means because I have never read any of her
books. The look was so imperious, though, that for a couple of minutes while shelving, I was convinced I'd better read The Golden Notebooks. I put it on my cart to take downstairs. Then I shelved it again because that wasn't actually Doris Lessing!
6. Gabriel Garcia Marquez. Actually, I think he might not be a patron. I
think he might be a new trainee! Imagine, a young Garcia Marquez
working here. I hope he will give me some writing tips. If so, watch for
an increase in Magical Realism in this blog.