Monday, May 26, 2014

Cat's out of the bag

Perhaps you recently viewed the latest cat based viral video that scorched its burning path across the Internet. I think I'd better briefly describe it to you because viral cat videos fly in such a raging fury across the Internet, and they are so temporal, that if you read this at any time off of the exact right moment you might think I am referring to a different viral cat video. I am referring to the one in which a small child, amusing himself alone, is attacked suddenly by a small to medium sized dog. The dog seizes the child in its teeth. From out of nowhere, a superhero like cat comes flying at the dog. All claws and speed the cat hurls onto the dog out of the very air. The dog bolts off in fear and surprise. The cat too bolts off, and the child is saved. 

Would you like a link to it?

No? 

Oh, really? You found my description so strikingly complete and vivid that it's unnecessary? Well, that's nice.

You are too eager to hear what I have to say on this matter to go chasing stray videos anyway? 

Yes, well, that makes sense. I understand.

Here is what this video demonstrates:

The conceit is that cats are self-absorbed, self-centered, and self-possessed. But this is partly, sort of, a tiny bit of, a front. Cats, you see, are like the classic hero type of the cool mercenary. Think if you will of Humphrey Bogart in Casablanca or To Have and Have Not or Harrison Ford in Star Wars. These men are secretly good, but they are very interested in keeping that from you. The fact that their heart is golden is something only for the clear eyed, virtuous, trustworthy, and sweet spirited. You see that cat out there, on your local sidewalk, self-satisfiedly munching the head of a small songbird? That cat is just biding it's time. And if you are righteous enough, that cat is on your side to the bitter end.

No cat will admit it. If a cat could talk it would explain away the evidence of that viral video. The people of the Internet, taken in by the cats' front will explain it away. But those of us with hearts open enough to see, we are allowed to know.

2 comments:

  1. Hello would you mind letting me know which webhost you're utilizing?
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    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hmmmm... well, I guess you're a bit off topic here, but, wow, you think my blog is fast loading? You loaded it in three browsers. Oh, I'm fascinated. Please tell me more. I beg of you! Which three browsers. I'm inclined to think IE, Firefox, and Chrome. Did I guess right? They're the only three I know. Nevertheless I too as a hobby go to different browsers and compare the loading times of random things. It is super fun!

      Can I recommend a good internet hosting provider at a honest price?

      Well, honestly, I would suggest staying clear of the internet altogether. Hosting providers tend to be unscrupulous, but then, if you put something on the internet anyway strange people will try to link bizarre and meaningless sites from your site for no reason you will be able to fathom. And though every day your blog or website will get several pointless fake questions and comments from these people, or, really, from their bizarre automated programs that don't even really work, except maybe to be annoying, and one day you will finally snap and let a few of these bizarre spam comments post to your blog just so you can write a reply to that person (who will never ever read it) and tell them:

      Thank you for your sincere question. You have brightened my day and enriched by blog. May I call you brother?

      Delete

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