Monday, May 19, 2014


You have had your day off and so, refreshed, you return to work, ready to roll up your sleeves (thus exposing your temporary tattoos of dragons!), and get down to blogging on new developments. 

I'm excited, are you excited?

Of course you are!

Let's check in first on new developments in library technology. People love hearing about all the exciting new developments in library technology. Most library blogs tend to focus on this. Not mine, as I like to focus more on me. But today, in a bold, populist move, I am starting with library technology. What has happened in the library technology world in the past two days?

How did you enjoy the part in The Matrix where it turns out Neo can just download learning modules into his brain? Do you remember? He learns Kung Fu, which, naturally, is very useful, but I'm sure he learned a lot of other fabulous things, like gun-play! Imagine, if you will, that you could go to your library, insert something into the jack at back of your head, and instantly learn, well, martial arts, or French, or all about dinosaurs, or you could instantly read For Whom the Bell Tolls with full comprehension. Wouldn't that be great? Sure, it's a tad weird having to have a port at the back of your head, but I, for instance, have gotten used to the one I have between my nose and my chin, so I figure it's manageable. Since this instant learning is the key development I have been waiting for in library technology since my piano lessons and sixth grade Spanish class I have naturally been wondering if we developed anything like this over the past two days at my library. Just imagine if you could learn the Sax in a minute and not even have to risk late fines or buy an expensive practice instrument. Well?

Nope. Nothing. In fact, despite the passage of nearly two whole days we are still primarily relying upon  books, checked out, taken home, and read over the course of several hours, which works moderately well, but is still rather labor intensive. This, despite all our so called advances in library technology. Indeed this check out system is still much the same basic way Dinosaurs used libraries hundreds and hundreds of years ago. While it is a workable system, we now know that it will not protect us from the asteroid. The asteroid may not come tomorrow or in a hundred years, but it is coming, and any Triceratops can tell you that all the Mary Oliver books in the world will not save you when the time comes. Sorry to bring the bad news, but it's not my bad news, it's the Triceratops's bad news.

So, no new technology developments. What next? Scandals?

No, no scandals.

Notable deaths?

No. I hear about people dying all the time, but I'm always a bit surprised by how people take their time about it.

Zombie invasions? Amusing incidents? Policy changes? Celestial visitations? Parking lot contretemps? Vending Machine scandals? Chain of command shake ups?

No, no, no, no, no, nope, and no.


So, what will I blog about?

How about Dinosaurs!

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