Working with a lot of people at a largish public library I regularly come in contact with crazy people. I mean that in the broadest, least pejorative sense of the word. We are all of us touched with madness. You. Yes, you, and me too, but there does tend to be a place with people where, try as one might to twist around to eccentric, or odd, or idiosyncratic, or wacky, or colorful, one just keeps ending up in "crazy" until one starts worrying about hurting ones back with all the twisting and just lets it be. "Fine, crazy." One says. And then one goes from there.
Today we are going from there.
There are as many different ways of dealing with crazy as there are ways of being crazy. Today I would like to talk about the method I have been using today. When I am feeling a bit fey, as I am today, I like to take a spin with crazy. One might describe this method as out crazying the crazy, or it can also be known as "If you can't beat 'em, join 'em". I prefer simply to think of it as going with the flow.
I am approached by someone I know pretty well.
"Hey." He says. "You gotta get some pancakes in here in the morning! When are you gonna get the pancakes here?"
"You want pancakes?" I inquire civilly.
"Yeah. In the morning you should get pancakes here. You can do that, can't you? We should have pancakes here in the morning!"
No, in case you wondered, this is not in a kitchen, near a kitchen, and certainly not at any sort of restaurant. It is not in reference to a previous discussion. And I am not in the habit of randomly supplying breakfast food. It is a non sequitor. You may ask: "Is it, perhaps, an amusing non sequitor of an eccentric pancake enthusiast?" Ah, I see where you are going. I have tried that twisting about bit too. No. It is a non sequitur delivered direct from crazy town.
"Pancakes?" I inquire to buy time. I am getting up to speed here. My coffee is still kicking in.
"Yes. Talk to the branch manager to see if he'll get you a griddle. We need pancakes. Wouldn't that be great? Some griddle hot pancakes in the morning?" He leans in close to me. "You gotta see if you can get us some pancakes." He pounds his hand with his fist.
"Not" I say "Without maple syrup. I will not eat a pancake without maple syrup! How many maple trees do we have in the parking lot?"
"Maple syrup, eh?" He says.
"I will not go a step without pure maple syrup. Get me a count of all the maple trees in the parking lot. I need the exact number of maple trees in the parking lot. And we need three large kettles!"
"Yes. Maple syrup would be good."
"Count the trees! Get the kettles. Meet me back here tomorrow!" And I storm off.
Actually, some pancakes would be good.
And just so you know, I wouldn't try this method with the patrons.
This one is just for my co workers.