Sunday, November 8, 2015

Library supplies questionnaire

Dear Staff:

In my job as master of supplies at our library I am asking you again this year to fill out our brief questionnaire. Your answers provide valuable input to us and allow us to improve our service to you. With your careful answers you can look forward to a more responsive, efficient, and friendly supplies department, and you can expect to see the supplies you most need and want, delivered to you in a timely manner.

It is not mandatory that you fill out this questionnaire. However, by not responding you will indicate you don't much care about supplies, which is great for the library system as a whole because we will be able to send you all the junky used pens no one else wants, using the savings to purchase elegant, silky, graceful pens for people who are interested in the supplies department and all the nice things we can order for our friends.

So it's up to you.

1. I find that the supplies I request arrive

     A. Promptly.
     B. Faster than I even hoped.
     C. With a kind of style and charm I particularly admire.

2. If I could see but one change in the supply department it would be

     A. That the master of supplies would receive the respect he deserves!
     B. That premium beverages would be covered in the supply budget to promote staff harmony.
     C. That the supply department be operated as an independent Kingdom, with heralds, jousting, and its own castle.

3.  Overall I find the supply department to be

     A. Satisfactory, and please send me some more bic pens.
     B. Excellent, and please send another bunch of those beautiful Italian leather journals.
     C. A beacon of light in a dim world, and please send an espresso machine and a new sushi chef. The old sushi chef has lost a step or two.

Thank you for your time. Your results will be carefully considered and noted for all time in one of our lovely Italian leather journals.

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