Friday, January 8, 2016

Famed writer to donate one billion dollars

Step back notorious Computer Era philanthropists Bill Gates and Mark Zuckerberg, there's a new benevolent doner whose generosity might soon dwarf your own. A famous Internet blogger has just pledged to donate his second billion dollars to easing global poverty. In a statement issued this morning the much followed blogger dared to refer to the affluence of the few in his selfless vow of generosity that is giving the poor of the world hope.

"Should I ever have the opportunity to live a ridiculously wealthy lifestyle, I am going to want to give back, but not in a way that affects the lifestyle to which I will quickly become accustomed." Beloved blogger Feldenstein Calypso's statement read. "The thought of people, especially children, not having enough to eat is a black mark on our modern, interconnected, and hopeful era. I can no longer stand by and do nothing. That is why, to celebrate my recent thousandth blog post, I am pledging the second billion dollars I earn to the creation of the Calypso Foundation for the Alleviation of Poverty. It won't exactly be a "Foundation", and you'll sort of just have to take my word for it, but I will be giving one billion dollars of my own prospective money to doing the right thing, and that's the essential point here. I sincerely hope that other prospective rich people will give back to a world that will, theoretically, one day make us rich."

The foundation, which analysts have speculated will filter off a large portion of the billion dollar donation to use for galas, self promotion, and the process of running the foundation, will be formed as soon as Mr. Calypso earns his second billion dollars.

After discussing the grave issues of global poverty Mr. Calypso ended on a light and hopeful note. "My second billion dollars belongs to the people of the world. That I vow to you. The third billion, however, is mine."

Mr. Calypso's current assets are estimated at roughly $11,000.

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