Saturday, July 16, 2016

Amateur hour

I am a professional library worker. I have decades of experience. I am plying my trade at a library.

A patron has taken a book off the shelf to read and then reshelved it. No, nice try, but it doesn't go there. "As" does not function like "A" or "The". It counts alphabetically at the start of the title. But thank you for trying.

A patron inquires as to whether we have a notary in. No, we do not. I am sorry. A nearby patron suggests they head to the bank. I understand the impulse to be helpful, but these banks are all closed right now. Here are the valid notary options presently possible.

A considerate patron approaches me at the front desk. They inform me that the first self check out kiosk's printer is out of paper. I grab a paper roll and head over. There is half a roll of paper in there. I check the second kiosk. It is not out of paper, but it is jammed. I fix the printer.

But enough is enough.

I sincerely appreciate these good intentions, I do. But this clerking work is mindbogglingly complex. Not just anyone can do it properly. I do not walk into other peoples' businesses and start performing brain surgery or start assembling sprockets or dabble in managing the cleaning staff or try and forecast the weather.

This library is a serious place. Please, leave it to us professionals!

Oh, you work here?

That explains a lot.

Carry on.


  1. lol

    NOW I understand why everyone got so upset at me all those years ago. I was at a Lakers game and they were ahead by a few points, but Brian Shaw's player kept cutting backdoor on him and getting layups, so I kept shouting, he's going backdoor! Finally, after yet another layup, I marched down to the floor during a timeout and told Phil Jackson I'm subbing in for Brian Shaw. The players all looked at me so kindly and said it's all right but they can handle it.

    1. Well, your example doesn't seem the same because they were missing something so obvious. I mean, he was going backdoor!

      I think they didn't let you in not due to your non professional status, but, sadly, because you're short.


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