Saturday, May 13, 2017

Library definitions

Yesterday I put forward a little lexicon of updated political terms, a la The Devil's Dictionary by Ambrose Bierce. Today it occurred to me that library terms have updated to new meanings every bit as much as political ones, so why not take a stab at those. But before I do I thought it might be nice to start off with a real Devil's Dictionary definition by Ambrose Bierce himself:


To take the thought or style of another writer one has never, never read.

And with that thought, we're off!


A community center for the purpose of building up one's immunity to diseases.

Library Card: 

A disposable reminder of the number one needs to access various online services.


The person one uses to google things when one is too tired to type.

Study room: 

A private room in which to eat crunchy snacks.

Book renewal:

An attempt to prolong the illusion that one will read a book.


A way to get in line for a popular book one will have lost all interest in reading by the time it arrives.


An item recently voted as one of the top 500 things to get at a library.

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If you were wondering, yes, you should comment. Not only does it remind me that I must write in intelligible English because someone is actually reading what I write, but it is also a pleasure for me since I am interested in anything you have to say.

I respond to pretty much every comment. It's like a free personalized blog post!

One last detail: If you are commenting on a post more than two weeks old I have to go in and approve it. It's sort of a spam protection device. Also, rarely, a comment will go to spam on its own. Give either of those a day or two and your comment will show up on the blog.