Saturday, March 17, 2018

Without Rex

Sure, sometimes I can be an amusing co-worker to have around. But then too, like so many people with a humorous nature, I can be so taken with some private bit of whimsy that it can be a challenge for other people to enjoy. I'm okay with that. I can enjoy it enough for all of us. For my co-workers, for everyone reading this, and for all the people of the Internet.

And so it is with my jokes about Rex Tillerson.

I know. You're all like "Who?", because in these end times of American politics catastrophes happen with such devastating and hilarious frequency that something that happened four days ago is ancient. One Trump day, it turns out, like some kind of drugged up version of dog years, equals 119 normal days. 

This explains why it feels like he has been President for 137 years. Functionally, emotionally, he has been.

But I, despite this, have not forgotten long departed Rex Tillerson. Rex Tillerson has captured my fancy in his summary dismissal. Who can say why? I can't, but no matter what has gone wrong all day at my library, and small things go wrong all the time, I am there to sigh, and to look downcast, and to say, mournfully, "This wouldn't have happened if Rex Tillerson were still Secretary of State."

I run into a co-worker in the back room. "God I miss him." I say. "I suppose we all do."

"Who? What?" They reply with some concern and alarm.

"Rex." I respond heavily. "Rex Tillerson. I just feel so empty without him as Secretary of State."

"I miss him too." They say, because people around here are nice enough to play along. "I can't even remember the name of his replacement."

"It doesn't matter." I say hopelessly. "No one can ever fill his giant shoes. He had size 14 shoes."

Our main check out computer went down and a fix for it could not be found. I was on the phone with the head of our Automation Services for awhile, but no go. I hung up. My co-workers surely expected some elaborate broadside from me against our threadbare, uncommunicative, and inefficient Computer Department. I put on a stern face before my co-workers. Breath was held all around me. I cried out "This wouldn't have happened if Rex Tillerson were still Secretary of State!"

Of course, it's all kind of funny the first time, and though it continually amused me, I can see in retrospect, in telling you, how it wears out its welcome. I can see how it's not all that funny at all. And I'm sorry. Something happened here and I used to be a good deal more amusing. But that was back when Rex Tillerson was Secretary of State, and everything was better. 

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