The firm of Calypso, Calypso, Calypso, and Garfunkel has scientifically surveyed 13,600 homes to assess the current approval ratings for God. The following results are an assimilation of the full data of the accounting firm of Calypso, Calypso, Calypso, and Garfunkel and are as accurate as possible. For the detailed, full results you will need to log in to the Calypso, Calypso, Calypso, and Garfunkel twitter account and view the hashtag #Calypso,Calypso,Calypso,and/Garfunkel/2018/survey/to/assess/the/unexpurgated/approval/ratings/for/God.
Religious institutions and scholars can receive our detailed survey results on printed vellum by sending eight boxtops from Lucky Charms Cereal to:
Calypso, Calypso, Calypso, and Garfunkel "How's God Doing?" Cereal Giveaway
Battle Creek, Michigan 49014
How good of a job do you think God is doing?
42 percent of respondents feel God is doing a good or "awesome" job.
28 percent of respondents feel God is doing "pretty good" considering the circumstances, not blaming anyone in particular.
16 percent of respondents are concerned that "there is something seriously wrong with god".
5 percent of respondents feel they have been singled out by God unfairly but otherwise God's doing an "okay" job.
9 percent of respondents feel that "How dare you ask questions judging our Lord God you damned atheist!"
Has God's performance improved, stayed the same, or gotten worse?
7 percent of respondents feel it has improved but are only saying that because they "feel sorry for God".
14 percent of respondents feel it has improved, even though it was already perfect, you damned atheist!
42 percent of respondents feel it has stayed the same, but these were mostly older respondents who eat very little cereal.
21 percent of respondents feel it has gotten worse and hope their honesty won't get them smited.
16 percent of respondents have no opinion because they're trying to hurry the survey along and really regret agreeing to take part in it.
91 percent of non-Muslim respondents feel he is not doing a good job and should be far less Muslim, then asked us, like, 30 questions about Muslims that seemed to indicate they had no idea about any of it.
How good a job is the God of Jews doing?
14 percent of Jewish respondents feel he is doing a wonderful job and then they said fifteen minutes worth of other stuff
62 percent of non-Jewish respondents said or did something that might have been anti-semetic, but didn't do so on purpose, we don't think.
How good a job is the God of Christians doing?
64 percent of Christian respondents mumbled platitudes that seemed to indicate favorable outlooks.
100 percent of non-Christian respondents sounded exasperated, though admittedly we weren't entirely sure whether it was with Christianity or the survey.