Saturday, June 13, 2020

The flower spy speaks!

The mysterious flower spy has been terrorizing the (formerly) quiet neighborhoods of the Twin Cities for months now. What's he up to? Why flowers? Is he a harbinger of the end of civilization? Finally we sit down for a frank, one-on-one discussion with the notorious flower spy. This is quite a coup for Clerkmanifesto, the blog that has been carefully reporting on the activities of the flower spy since the story first broke.

Have you been following the coverage of your endeavors around the Internet, on Social Media, in the Newspapers, and on the TV?

Well, I read your blog. I don't believe anyone else has mentioned me in any way.

You read my blog! Oh my god! Tell me more!

Uh. I guess mostly I look at the pictures of flowers.

Oh. You mean the ones you took?

The writing part is nice too.

You think so?

Very nice. Maybe a little confusing sometimes, but yes, I like it.

My cheeks are all pink. Can you see how pink my cheeks are?

Yes, they're very pink.

So why flowers, and, quite frankly, what kind of devilry are you up to?

Um, I don't know if there's any devilry, but the flowers are really pretty. And I wanted to show you what they looked like up a bit closer.

Oh, we were thinking it was something more nefarious, maybe Antifa or something. You're not collecting secret information or anything?

I sort of am.

Ohhhhhhhh. Tell us more. Tell us all the secret information!

No, I mean, there's just a lot of pretty things that are happening close up in flowers with all the colors and light and secret flower parts, and one wouldn't see those normally even as one looks at a flower and admires it at a regular distance. So it's fun to take real close up pictures and sort of, I don't know, reveal it all.

So is this why the newspaper and Social Media hasn't mentioned you and you are pretty much completely unknown everywhere in the whole world?

I guess? I don't know why they would mention me.

Because you're the flower spy! You make the neighborhoods quake with fear. Squirrels run for the trees as you pass. Blackbirds flush into the air!

If you say so. I just thought it would be nice to take some pictures. I kind of think squirrels run for the trees when anyone passes.

Hmm. Let me think for a second here. Hmmmmmm.... okay... You've convinced me. But now I feel sad. Do you think this is why all my flower spy posts have been kind of unpopular?

People really seemed to like the pictures.



So you're definitely not Antifa?

Oh no, I'm totally antifa, just, it's only with a small "a".

A small "a"?


So the flower pictures are all to fight Fascism?


Did you bring one of your incendiary, extremely dangerous pictures of flowers to fight Fascism with?

Um, yes?

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