The shocking failure of the Texas electrical grid and the massive blackouts sweeping Texas during an epic cold spell have brought to all of our attention the terrible problems of deregulation, the ruinous disfunction of Republican politics, and the calamitous results of the inability of American media to speak squarely to the problems haunting the vast sweep of America.
But I'm here to step into the fray!
I am here, on the amazing, all powerful Internet, to offer healing to the desperate peoples of Texas.
So come in close.
Huddle into my light, dear Texans. I am in Minnesota. I understand the cold. I can help you. Gather round. Hear the crackle of my fire. Feel the warmth of my weird, unearthly Northern Lights. Take a sip of this meltingly delicious orange cognac.
Mmm, cognac.
So dear citizen of America Texas. Though much divides us, we are one. We are a people. We must bridge the divide between us with love. Now is the time to set aside partisan squalor, past grievances, and ancient enmity. Ice has frozen your world. The power grid has failed you. You are freezing to death.
I have help.
I can save your lives and the lives of your precious pets, children, and perishable items. Read on, and all will be well.
Oh, right, there's a blackout there, you can't.
SO funny!
ReplyDeleteYou know what stinks about this coming in as a ninja reader and binging on posts? I like to comment, and I know you'll comment back, but there isn't an easy way to find your responses. I know by tomorrow or whenever you answer, I'll forget which posts I commented on, or will get a headache searching through them. That stinks. I wish somehow your comments came to me through email, with a link to the post. Wah. I know it would all be solved if I just read daily.
Maybe if I got the red leather chair.
Thanks.
DeleteNo, I know. From my end I rarely get this perspective, but I suspect it all the time when I'm responding to comments, especially if it takes me a few days, like "how will they remember to come back to this particular post to see my response!" Old posts get buried by new posts so fast around here. It never stops snowing!!!!
So to speak.
We're covered in snow!
So to speak.
It's actually been pretty warm around here lately.
Alas that I can only think of complicated, impractical solutions which I am only refraining from sharing through a great act of will.
I'm pretty sure then that the red leather chair was always yours!