Thursday, April 8, 2021

Game show host


My library has opened for public browsing of the collection. Whether this move is slightly premature because of Covid cases still rising in my State isn't the subject of today's missive. The subject of today's missive is just how ecstatic this makes the library patrons. There has been squealing, and weeping, and literal jumping for joy (well, it was a bit more like a couple little hops).

And because we have rolled out this new level of library opening in a very low key, unpublicized way, I am regularly the bearer of this good news. I am, apparently, the instrument of making people's day. 

They tell me so. 

"You have made my day. No, my year!" They say.

I think they want to hug me.

I feel like a game show host!

They walk into the library, picking up a couple of mundane books they're not even sure they want to read.

 Something looks different...

"Is..." They tremulously begin. "Is the library... open? Can I go pick out my own books... myself?"

"Yes! Yes indeed. The library is open for browsing." I say. "And you have also won a brand new Kenmore Brand Washer and Dryer Combo!!!!!! Johnny, tell them what they've won!"

" Well Feldenstein, it's a brand new Kenmore brand deluxe hydro-clean washer and dryer. With variable wash cycles and their patented low frequency super wash system, you will never have to worry about your colors bleeding again! Kenmore, the right way to say electric!"

"Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god!" they yell, sobbing excitedly, overwhelmed with emotion. Their family and friends come up to them and they all start hugging and jumping up and down in front of my desk.

Cut to commercial.

Hopefully they're all vaccinated.


  1. I read a bit of an article about how cases are rising in the upper midwest, but since Kenmore has sponsored a limitless giveaway in every store/library/car dealership, the call to open has been strong. Anyway, back to business here: Is the reasoning that there are fewer people dying? Optimism about wave of vaccination? Are they expediting vaccines for library staff?

    Here in CA there's talk of opening everything in late June. I would like that if it's safe.

    1. As far as I can tell nearly all Governmental Pandemic response across the World has just been various levels of shoddiness and here in St. Minneapolis we have been "medium shoddy". So I'd say your answer choice number 2 is more like it: optimism about wave of vaccination. And while it's true that Kenmore is not helping matters with the free Washer/Dryer combos, it's hard to get mad at them because those washers can get pretty expensive, especially the nice front loaders.

      They did not expedite vaccines for library staff which could be a long blogpost in itself, but one so dark and paranoid sounding that I probably won't write it. However, we staff were profoundly motivated to get vaccines and virtually all of us now (except the one Republican cultist maybe) have, by hook and crook, gotten at least the first shot.

      By rate of vaccination June does not seem unreasonable, but we could have saved a lot of pain here right at the end.

      Today's comment responses are brought to you by:

      Kenmore! The right way to say electric.


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