Wednesday, September 30, 2015

Hey, what's up at the library?

Absorbed as I am in my exciting faux publishing career I'm afraid I have stinted some on what is happening at my library. As anyone who has ever gone on vacation from my library for a couple weeks knows, there is never any news to report, but if you hang around long enough, the anecdotes, the little meaningless stories, start piling up so fast you can swim in them. Whether you want to or not.

Here are a few from this afternoon:

1. Lesson learned.

If one suffers from back and neck problems and sees a patron using the worst, most bizarre computer posture you have ever seen in your life, do not hilariously demonstrate said posture for your co-workers.

2. Wrote a joke.

A man came into the library with three brace of large dogs all struggling on his many leashes. The man approached the front desk with these white and black patched dogs and tried to give them to me. I said "Hey! What are you doing? I can't take these dogs!"

To which he replied "But I called and they said you accept Dalmatians."

3. Larry Jordan

When I told a man that his due date was on the birthday of my long ago Elementary School second best friend, Larry Jordan (Oct. 5), he remembered, not particularly warmly, "Oh yeah, you're that quirky guy."

4. The mystery of the 20 DVDs

When I was a child a person could check out maybe ten books at a time from the library. Nowadays nearly all the limits have gone away. We hang on to just a few; for instance, you can check out a maximum of 20 DVDs. This is hard on the many libertines who like to visit our library. At the front desk they bring me their towering pile of DVDs. 

"I can only get 20 DVDs?" They ask. 

Oh but alas, they have 22. 

How long, you might wonder, does it take such a person to edit out two DVDs from their pile of 22 with me waiting?

Twelve minutes.

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