Saturday, February 4, 2017
"Good afternoon. It's a beautiful day here at the library and I will do whatever I can to help you. Just say the word."
"Oh, uh. Hi. I wanted to use your e-book checkout system on your website."
"Absolutely! Wonderful. You are most welcome to it!"
"Well, it says I need my library card number. Can you give that to me?"
"One hundred percent yes! We will have you on your way in a moment. I just need the barcode off your library card."
"Right, see, I don't have my card with me. That's why I'm calling to see if I can get the number of my barcode to use online."
"Ah, yes, fantastic. Of course I can do that for you sir. If you would just read to me that long number off the back of your library card we will take care of it in an instant."
"I don't have the library card! I want you to tell me the number. If I could tell you the number I wouldn't need you to repeat it back to me!"
"I totally understand your unhappiness and anger sir, but it is a lovely day and I am just so happy you called the library. Please be assured that you and I are going to get to the bottom of this in a way that will satisfy every last wish of yours."
"Great. So what is my library card number?"
"Can I see your I.D. please, then I will look you right up and give you your number!"
"How could I possible show you my I.D. over the phone?"
"Hmm. I didn't consider that. You make such a wonderful and to the point question there sir. I admire your perspicacity!"
"You're not going to give me my library card number, are you?"
"I guarantee you I am. I would simply need the 14 digit number of your library account. I am ready anytime."
"I am waiting here with a joyful expectancy!"