Thursday, May 21, 2015

The trifecta

I am not eager to make light of mental illness, but we had such a dazzling moment tonight, out by the coffee shop, on the Internet computers, in that special corner back there where so many wonderful things happen. You see, we came within inches of a trifecta! And besides, those people involved might not be mentally ill at all. There's room for all types here at the library.

My colleague at the front desk spotted the first one: a woman on Internet terminal 87. I couldn't see her too well because she had a large, striped umbrella completely unfurled over her. Perhaps she was concerned about an indoor shower? We had, earlier, conducted a fire alarm drill and so she could have been being cautious about the sprinkler system tripping. Of course, the more likely reason was that she wanted her privacy. Oddly, from far across the room her umbrella obscured nearly everything about her except her computer screen, which, from our angle, we could see clearly.

To her right was a regular. But just because he's a regular doesn't negate his colorful qualities. Apparently germaphobic, he had once again completely wrapped our hardwired headphones in great swaths of toilet paper, where it all perched on his head- a bizarre, puffy white crown clearly visible at a hundred yards.

Alas, the patron to umbrella lady's left is where we just fell short. A man whose paranoia is palpable and who, more than once, has come to me and others to complain about people following him and tracking him, appeared to have perched a small aluminum foil hat on top of his head, to protect from various brain beam monitors and whatnot. But sadly, upon closer examination, it was not foil. It was just a pair of chrome sunglasses perched on his head.

Well, I hope they help anyway. With, admittedly a bit of amusement, but no recrimination, I say, may it help them all.

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