Sunday, July 27, 2014

Moose vacation

Around this time of year I go on vacation to try and see a moose. While my blog is never far from my heart, this moose watching (er, attempted moose watching) brings me far from any place to enter blog posts or interact with my blog in any way. So while I will no doubt write extensively about my moose tracking while I am on vacation, you have no way to read any of it until I can turn it all into blog posts after I come back.

I have four options in this situation.

1. I can shut down my blog for a week or two.

This option is unrealistic as the shock would destroy the Internet. My feelings are mixed about the Internet, but I am emotionally unable to deal with the responsibility for killing the Internet. Sure the Internet looks ferocious and monstrous now, but when I imagine its furry little limp body in my hands... no.

2. I could get my friend Grape to guest blog.

Last year he did three guest blog posts for my moose hunting time. He writes well! The posts were fun! And I got mentioned in them! This year I sent out feelers thinking he'd probably been waiting all year to get a crack at this again.

I don't think he'd been waiting all year to get a crack at this again.

3. I can run repeats.

While this would work for my more casual readers it would leave my most devoted readers out in the cold as they have already memorized all my past posts a la Fahrenheit 451.

4. In the days leading up to my vacation trip I can sleeplessly and feverishly try and write nine or ten extra blog posts to release like clockwork here during the time I am off on my moosing expeditions.

This one is probably the most problematic solution of them all. Overextended, the quality of my writing may suffer. I will run out of ideas. I may become snappish and slightly unenlightened. The muses will kick me down the stairs. Battered and exhausted, strung out and delusional I will start hallucinating moose.

Number four it is then.


  1. Take a deep breath and enjoy your vacation! We will survive, but will be eagerly awaiting your return. Good luck with the moose-siting; I have been to Glacier NP, I have been to the North Shore, I have driven to the places and at the times recommended. Only moose I've seen has been in the MN Zoo.

    1. Thank you. I will try to breathe.

      I did see one moose while driving into the bighorn mountains of Wyoming 15 years ago. I thought that since I saw it from a car it wasn't something to get too excited about, but I guess a moose is a moose is a moose.

  2. I vote for Grape! But yeah, maybe it's too much pressure...and you don't want to lose any new readers just when they're getting used to you, so just being absent doesn't seem like a good option.

    Good luck moosing. I know that no matter what happens, it will be a good story, so I look forward to that.

    1. How nice of you to think I have new readers! I suppose if I did they might have to get used to me. They would say "Oh, he's kidding, no, wait, yes, no, yes, YES that is DEFINITELY a joke. But I think he's serious. Hmm." or something like that. It could take awhile.

      I voted for Grape too!

      But no, alas, so option four it is. I may never stop hallucinating mooses. I'm gone pretty soon and think probably the only way to stop hallucinating mooses is to see a real one.

      But will I know?


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