Thursday, January 22, 2015

Living the dream

One of my colleagues showed a small family to the back room of the library. We are not above conducting impromptu tours of our glamorous automated check in machine just because we're feeling nice without warning. Any number of us, out at the front desk, might go ahead and be nice just for the hell of it. It's better than surfing the Internet. It's better than putting carts of books in order. Aye, it has so little competition you'd think it would happen constantly. But, still, it manages to make a mark out there.

So a Mother, with her approximately six year old son and four year old daughter came back for the big machine tour. When I'm on the machine with children touring I like to go in for the extremely permissive role. "Do you want to put some books on the machine? Do you need these fingers? Do you want to surf along the rollers and belts of the machine? Would you like to see if the machine will suck you up here and spit you out there?" 

Yeah, they usually do.

All the excitement made a full convert of the boy, who, in the heat of the thrilling tour, proclaimed "When I grow up I am going to work here and come here every day and work on the machine!"

I swear to you, that is just what he said, this very day.

I am living the dream.


  1. That's awesome. Some time when I have more time I will tell you a story about when I gave a tour at Atkins Market in Amherst. It's a funny story but I don't have time to write about it now because I have to go to work, but when I have the time I will certainly write about the tour I gave at Atkins Market, where they had more than 15 varieties of apples, many of which were grown on their acreage. But for now, I just gotta get going it's a very full day you know so maybe later I'll get to the story about the tour but for now I just gotta go.

    1. I'll wait here at my computer for this story no matter how long I must wait, waiting, as I wait here. Though if it's going to be awhile I will maybe get some apples to eat while I wait.

  2. Here I am. It's a lovely 74 degree day here. Anyway, back to the story...

    I was working at Atkins market in Amherst when one day the usual person who did the school tour through the market called in sick. "I'll do it!" I said. It seemed better than stocking or turning apples so they're shiny or making fresh peanut butter. So, I did the tour, showing a group of 3rd graders a variety of apples and vegetables, and so on. I was a hit. Lots of food jokes. Well, a few tours later I was again on a roll when we stopped at the tofu section. I did my usual tofu jokes about what is this and California, and then I asked for a volunteer, and a boy came up. I forgot what I wanted him to do--maybe feel the consistency of it or something. So I was holding it up speaking to the group when all of a sudden massive laughter! Way too loud for my simple jokes. I waited till it died down only to notice that the tofu package had leaked and the juice was dripping all over my poor sweet volunteer!

    I believe I fainted at that point because for me the story ends there.

    1. You showered a small child in tofu juice?

      I wonder where that kid is now.


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