Sunday, January 5, 2020

Gallows humor

I don't want to be too harsh on us, but I think toying with WWIII might not be the brightest course of action for our country. Assassinating the second most powerful person in a large, reasonably well-armed and powerful country can have... repercussions. If those repercussions are that they then kill our second most powerful person, and we go back and forth killing second most powerful people like that forever, I could probably live with it. I mean fair is fair. On the other hand if it leads to the extinction of all life on the planet, I probably can't live with it.

Get it? Can't live with it? Cause we'd, like, all be dead. Except maybe some clever bacteria. But they wouldn't really be that happy without us. We're surprisingly cozy.

And if you are inclined to think, actually like I am inclined to think, that this all is not our fault, that most of us here in America distinctly do not support this sort of, um, murdering, I can only be of two minds. Sure we've opposed this sort of thing all our lives, but, um, we kind of mumbled when we did so.

One of my favorite things to mumble about is the press. I find they have a tendency to disassociate from reality and context at convenient and controversial moments, taking refuge in obtuse reporting. But I'm only going to go so far into that thesis here as to say this:

Today one of my local papers, The Pioneer Press, loudly screamed its headline from the newspaper boxes:

Trump: Aim of killing Iranian general was to 'stop a war'

So I did the only reasonable thing I could think of under the circumstances; I broke open the box of newspapers, threw them all away, and left a note:

Pioneer Press,

I have removed all your newspapers to foil thieves.

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